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~ Thank You, My Friend ~

transp.gif I am very thankful that Jeffrey has come my way. On the rough days and nights that have enveloped my inner being and consumed my inner strength beyond the realm of what I ever thought to be humanly possible, I have grown to love Jeffrey more than words can be written.

I only want to take away his pain. The pain for which he cannot endure without his Mommy there to comfort him. The pain which he has known since the day of his birth. The pain that hurts so much, yet for which he realizes so little, for he has such a high tolerance for pain he knows no different. The pain that has swept throughout his body from gas to reflux to constipation to something different every day. The pain of the acid burning his throat. His little throat that only knows how to cry out in pain and laughs on occasion throughout his ordeal hurts so often that Mommy cries inside.

There is nowhere to run. Nowhere to hide. Nobody to cry on. Unless you are living this nobody really understands. It could be worse. It could be better. I don't care what could be .. it is what it is and it is HARD and this is so frustrating at times...Yet, I am THANKFUL..

Thankful for a beautiful baby, thankful for the middle of the night tenderness the two of us have shared for so many months, thankful for his love and finally, thankful he can be himself around me and not be judged for what he is or how he is behaving or what he can or cannot do. I am thankful he is my son. I am thankful I was chosen to be his Mother.

Most of all, right now I am thankful for YOU. Yes, YOU who are reading my message. For without YOU I would be different and feeling all alone. YOU have given me the opportunity to be a part of a reflux community for which I am proud. A community that respects, doesn't judge, and understands everything I do and gives me the support I need and allows me to give the support when needed.

I am thankful that I have met all of YOU. My life would never be the same without out you. I am so glad I can truly call YOU all my friends .. not faceless cyberfriends .. but friends. And, my friend, FRIENDSHIP is the best thing we can all be thankful for...for without friends we have nothing.

Written 11/99

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